An open letter to my nephew
The following was written as an open letter to my nephew, to be delivered in 2019, when he will be 16. He was born with a congenital heart defect, and is currently undergoing surgery to fix his heart:
To my dear nephew,
I write these lines as you are in the hospital, for the penultimate time, with yet another hole in your chest, and I am flying in a battered 737 to be at your bedside. I realize now that if, God willing, you make it through all this, you won't really remember these hospital moments from your last months- the worried look on your sister's face, the cold smell of the hospital hallway, the quiet hum of the machinery.
So I want to give you a gift, a few thoughts for when you approach the cusp of manhood. I worry that from the distance of adolesence all these hosiptal days will have dissolved into some mythological family fog, and so I want to offer a few words of clarity:
- Remember that your very existence is a miracle. This is true for everyone, but especially true for you. Be grateful for that miracle, and remember to pay your dues to the human race by being the best person you can. But don't ever feel guilty, like you didn't deserve to be lucky enough to live. Your survival was a gift from Fate to you, and no one else can touch it.
- The world is a shallow and cold place sometimes- it always has been and it always will be. But there are moments, like your sickness my nephew, that make all that hustle fade from view, and a simple smile can appear golden and a hug from you can taste like chocolate. Remember not to forget such moments exist.
- Remember that all the money in the world, all the technology, cannot make people happy. Love does. Our family has been blessed financially, and sometimes we forget that that money doesn't really buy us any happiness. And then someone like you comes along and reminds us. Remember that you cannot control love- it controls you.
- Life is not a race. Everyone says this, but then we all go back to our hustle ASAP. Remember that we all think you are a blessing to our family, for letting us step out of the rat race, and into a little more spacious universe.
